I’ve been living the life of bisexual for two years. I could look backwards and think of how it all began but does it make any sense? Life is what we have now.
Everybody’s heard about this false hypothesis that a bisexual can hardly be loyal to their partner. I believe it’s just a popular prejudice. Nobody’s perfect, no matter what your sexuality is. I would like to draw your attention to the inner side of bisexual life: what bisexuals have to live through day after day to find their peace of mind.
It is not uncommon in my part of the world when bisexual women get married to men of property but in the meantime they have secret affairs with another women. Well, that’s not my cup of tea. But fairly speaking it’s quite convenient in my area – not only because a man is considered to be more likely to sustain a family, but also because our post-Soviet society doesn’t accept the same-sex relationships, and as a result women often stay with men to avoid social prejudices. And I cannot judge anybody since it’s in our nature to belong to a place we belong to. Someone just makes their choice.
But I put my main emphasis in this post on a psychological side of bisexual life.
I’ve been a loyal person for as long as I can remember. And I believe the basis of any relationship is mutual respect. I’ve been in a same-sex relationship for almost a year and a half already. I still have some trouble in arranging my “new” stage of life but I’m doing my best to keep my mind sober. To be honest I used to think what my life сould be like if I were married to a man. Yes, it would be far easier in many regards. But life is too short to waste it on “maybes”.
Yes, being bisexual means being attracted to both genders, so I can’t say that I have aversion to men :) I used to be in relationships with men before I met my girlfriend both during the time I didn’t know about my bisexuality and after my coming out (to myself). Nothing has changed about my inner self. I am still as true as steel. I have a girlfriend (she is my first woman) and I am not going to play around. I am not that kind of person and I love my girlfriend.
When it comes to men, at times I feel like I lack men’s energy in my life and their wisdom; the way how men can set women’s minds at rest, and their ability to own emotions. But that doesn’t mean I want a man – nope, I just want to be true to myself. I am that girl I have always been: with the same views and set of values. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you have to become someone else. Moreover, I “discovered” my bisexuality when I was already a mature personality.
I know people say when you are in love with someone you don’t think about “maybes”, but life is more complicated than the idea of it, and love is not enough to make a happy and healthy relationship. Family starts with mutual respect and, of course, honesty both to yourself and those you love.
I can say for sure: a bisexual can be devoted. And instead of judging someone you’d better look into the inside of your own mind.