The grateful sense of quiet and seclusion

Privacy is essential in the real world. The lack of inner harmony gives rise to a sense of frustration. It is vital for us to zone out between times.

We can find solace among friends or in music. We can take solace from communing with Nature: hiking about the woods, walking in the mountains or just sitting on the sands and viewing how the waves lap on the beach etc. It is quite true that close interaction between man and Nature is necessary as the breath of one’s nostrils. Nature provides us with the grateful sense of quiet and seclusion. It fills the aching void in our hearts.

Everyone needs this temporary relief… a special place where you can switch off from the sense of routine and relieve your mind from tormenting thoughts. But if you are still in search of your safe haven – keep that effort to find your comfort of solitude.


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We all have our faults

We enter the struggle for our well-being with destiny. But destiny is the product of our never-ending efforts. He that never climbed never fell.

We forge our own path being guided by a desire to realize our potential. We go through thick and thin in search of a better life. We fight against injustice on our own steam. At times failures erode our self-confidence – and we take the wrong roads committing reckless actions and taking sudden decisions. But we throw everything at the search for the best ways to recover our peace of mind. No matter the odds. Because there is definitely a room for improvement. There is still work to be done. There are still words to be said. We do have a long perspective of happy days before us.

Nothing can prevent us from striving after happiness.


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Prejudices blindfold the mind

I am a human being and I am free to make my own choice. I am a woman and I want to be a Mother.

I have a girlfriend but I am straight in the eyes of others (for a number of reasons). I can keep my bisexuality private when necessary. But I don’t want to flirt with fear. Nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest.

I agree that children should be raised in two-parent families. A child needs both a mom and dad. But think, for instance, of single parents who teach their children to be responsible and committed to moral values. In spite of being incomplete these are truly healthy and happy families.

I am worried about another aspect of the situation.

It is considered bad style if an unmarried woman gives birth to a baby in my part of the world. And no one cares that you set your heart on being a parent. No one cares you earn enough to provide for your children. For the majority of people the fact remains that you don’t have a legal stationery saying you are married. You risk being labelled “a girl with indecent behaviour” especially if you deliver a baby but don’t even have a boyfriend. This is so absurd! My voice for offering support to Single Mothers by Choice.

Why should I deny myself the joys of being a Mom because of variations in public opinion? Prejudices blindfold the mind. There are people who consider me a good girl free from faults, and they expect proper behavior of me. In other words, if I want to be fully accepted by the society I have to square my actions to the prevailing tendencies. But this is my life, and I am making my own choices. There are people who may have negative attitude to me. Much as I hate to admit it – they are most likely to enjoy a small triumph at the thoughts like “Tala’s single mom” or “Tala’s bisexual”. Confusion reigns both in the country and people’s heads. But listen, please, life is precious. And time really flies – don’t let us waste it on prejudices. Let us avoid doing violence to each other’s feelings. Be bigger than that!


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I am just a grain of sand

I mean the world to some… I am just a passer-by to others…

So many places under the sun I will never see… So many people around me I will never meet… So many things I will never try in the real life.

I am just a grain of sand… yes, I am… but I can create my own world full of love and warmth.

Life is beyond human contrivance. I cannot embrace the boundless… though everything seems to be within easy reach… so touchable…

Making eye contact with faces all around me every single day… each having their own history, and I will never know what they hide behind their thoughts… I am a stranger to the people passing by.

It feels at times like it’s no big deal to say “hello” to a stranger… And somebody may need your true word of encouragement… But you know they will cast a glance at you (which is most likely) and go their way…

How is it that we all belong to the same World but feel so lonely?

… we are afraid of being rejected.


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If you are still afraid of a change…

… start low, go slow, but GO!

I feel tired at times… but not of working too much… I am tired of boring sameness. It’s a lack of buoyancy. I desire for fresh and stimulating experiences. Life is more than just a household budget planning. Life is movement… and that’s not about driving to or from work. That’s about your spirit. You can go shopping every day or visit some beautiful places between times but if you are still dispirited, any of your “physical moves” eventually become a part of the routine.

Are we afraid of changes? Well… we are afraid of results. We are so obsessed by our drab existence that we feel perfectly safe within it. But, honestly, I do believe it all comes from the fear of the unknown: What if the results we expect from a change disappoint us? What if we get off the beaten track but meet with failure in the final count? Well, you cannot lose more than you have already got.

Making a change doesn’t always mean quitting the (heartbreaking) job or shifting the place of residence.

Just start with making a little change to your everyday routine. Use your imagination to vary your plans for the weekend. Get your feet wet. The routine invaded our minds and we forgot how to be thankful for small mercies. We shouldn’t be afraid of new things because life doesn’t stand still. We often do things that change our lives, we just don’t always take these actions as such. But now, when we are at a loss, we are more like babies who can’t take their own walk in life. Look at me, I do consider myself a strong person and I am fond of life but these days I have a melancholy mood. Still I am searching for solutions every single moment. I can give an example: I take this blog as a kind of true solace. I’m getting better when I’m writing my posts. I am also happy to have found some good friends here and be a part of their blogging life as well.

We are inactive at times. That’s not because we are lazy or sick. We are vulnerable because we are humans. And our whole essence bends with the wind. So we are getting used unconsciously to what makes the biggest part of our days. Still a little push breaks the whole system. And a little move can be a part of a great change.

quote2 allposters

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Stuck in a rut?

You want to bring some light into your days but your current state of affairs makes you feel so tired that you are losing the pace. You are plagued with the thought you are wasting your time on the things you are not interested in. You would like to change the situation but you realize the necessity to make money. What for? You’ve set some really vital goals to achieve but all you are doing at the moment is collecting a salary just to sustain your life, and the whole thing makes you feel miserable.

You’ve heard so many theories of the deep meaning of life and you even tried to figure your own one out (at times the goal happened to be within your reach) but suddenly you found yourself in the labyrinth. Every day you ride in a bus to the office with lots of different people around you. With luck you may take a window seat. These are your quieter moments. But the scene from the window is the same everywhere… You do your nine-to-five job. And then you get home from work….tired and hungry… but not for food… you are hungry for life… Life you know nothing about but are eager to experience. You dream of being someone who can take the liberty to stop and smell the roses.

Do you remember the last time you felt deep in peace? You realize all you need is be happy with a quiet life. Instead, you commute to work you don’t even like and you have no time to spend it on what you are really fond of. You are working hard to enjoy freedom but you are more like a caged bird. You earn money and spend it. If you don’t work you don’t have money. It’s good to have your bread buttered for life and be able to follow your heart but it’s like going round in circles. It means all your life is deliberately or unconsciously focused on earning money. And while you are making money time is slipping away. Vicious circle? Nope. Just a matter of course. But you shouldn’t resign yourself to the inevitable. Life is more than a “work-to-eat” system if you know what your true calling is and if you have someone to love. Some day or other you will hit the right path to fulfil your life-long dream. You can see the same scene from the window every day but you can also slant off from the route and try something new. And you definitely have enough time to take your choice. You are just afraid of breaking out of a rut. A natural fear of the unknown, but life is inside you, and there is nothing stronger than a human will.

When you are stuck in a rut and feel lost in the path of life you need to focus on the things that make you feel perfectly safe. Take time out to connect with what cheers your heart, gives you a true sense of beauty and endues you with childish excitement. Find your familiar territory to be able to feel a new man. Life is not all beer and skittles, and you will always be solving problems and overcoming difficulties but life is amazing in itself, and you shouldn’t hide its beauties from yourself.

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Bisexual life from within

I’ve been living the life of bisexual for two years. I could look backwards and think of how it all began but does it make any sense? Life is what we have now.

Everybody’s heard about this false hypothesis that a bisexual can hardly be loyal to their partner. I believe it’s just a popular prejudice. Nobody’s perfect, no matter what your sexuality is. I would like to draw your attention to the inner side of bisexual life: what bisexuals have to live through day after day to find their peace of mind.

It is not uncommon in my part of the world when bisexual women get married to men of property but in the meantime they have secret affairs with another women. Well, that’s not my cup of tea. But fairly speaking it’s quite convenient in my area – not only because a man is considered to be more likely to sustain a family, but also because our post-Soviet society doesn’t accept the same-sex relationships, and as a result women often stay with men to avoid social prejudices. And I cannot judge anybody since it’s in our nature to belong to a place we belong to. Someone just makes their choice.

But I put my main emphasis in this post on a psychological side of bisexual life.

I’ve been a loyal person for as long as I can remember. And I believe the basis of any relationship is mutual respect. I’ve been in a same-sex relationship for almost a year and a half already. I still have some trouble in arranging my “new” stage of life but I’m doing my best to keep my mind sober. To be honest I used to think what my life сould be like if I were married to a man. Yes, it would be far easier in many regards. But life is too short to waste it on “maybes”.

Yes, being bisexual means being attracted to both genders, so I can’t say that I have aversion to men :) I used to be in relationships with men before I met my girlfriend both during the time I didn’t know about my bisexuality and after my coming out (to myself). Nothing has changed about my inner self. I am still as true as steel. I have a girlfriend (she is my first woman) and I am not going to play around. I am not that kind of person and I love my girlfriend.

When it comes to men, at times I feel like I lack men’s energy in my life and their wisdom; the way how men can set women’s minds at rest, and their ability to own emotions. But that doesn’t mean I want a man – nope, I just want to be true to myself. I am that girl I have always been: with the same views and set of values. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you have to become someone else. Moreover, I “discovered” my bisexuality when I was already a mature personality.

I know people say when you are in love with someone you don’t think about “maybes”, but life is more complicated than the idea of it, and love is not enough to make a happy and healthy relationship. Family starts with mutual respect and, of course, honesty both to yourself and those you love.

I can say for sure: a bisexual can be devoted. And instead of judging someone you’d better look into the inside of your own mind.

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