I haven’t written about my bisexual experience for a while. Hmm, how can I say this? A lot has happened in my life, and at times this is quite an occasion to put my ideas in order for a variety of reasons. As for my self-identity, I feel like I have already accepted myself, but I don’t know how to introduce my bisexuality into society and surroundings I grew up in. Well, I am not as afraid of coming out as I used to be like six months ago. The fact of the matter is I find myself in a state of “two lives” that I don’t know how to reconcile. I moved to another country in July to start a family with my girlfriend. And I feel at ease living the life of a bisexual. In my native country I lived the life of a straight girl and felt perfectly fine as well. I haven’t been to my country for about five months after I left the nest. I am going to visit my home village and meet my dear family and friends in a month.
On the one hand, it feels like nothing has changed – I am the very same girl I used to be. On the other hand, a change came over me – I fell in love with a woman. I look straight to society as before, and there is no doubt people never stop asking me about “my boyfriend” or “husband” etc., etc. There are people who will never accept the fact of same-sex love. Not because they are homophobic, but because the fact a woman can make another woman happy goes over their heads. Some strongly believe it’s a man and only a man who is meant to make a woman happy, and only a man is able to provide for the future of family. So, we should be ready for whatever comes – not everybody can understand it. There will always be those who don’t take same-sex relationships seriously.
By way of example, I have already told my close friends about my private life changes. They’ve accepted my choice and are glad of it with all heart. There is one friend of mine who just cannot understand how a woman is gonna take care of another woman. He tried to offer his explanations, one of which was like “You just need someone (a friend or room-mate) to live under the same roof to make your life easier in another country“. But at the same time he accepts the idea of platonic love (platonic friendship) to a person of any gender, and assumes there can be same-sex love in principle.
Anyway, we should respect the looks of other people, especially if their attitude to us remains friendly and supportive.
I’ve been living with my woman for about five months. This is my first experience of same-sex relationship. Well, I don’t feel like “Omg, I love a Woman!” :) The truth is I live with a person I love. Some guys consider me as a gay and believe I just can’t accept it, but I am not gay. I am who I have always been. I am a girl who cherishes her love. What has changed? Nothing. Really. I am still stick to my way of living, life philosophy and life values.
I met a gay couple last weekend. We had a talk about acceptance. One guy said something like “there is too much noise about the topic, but actually there is nothing unnatural about it“. And really, come to think of it, if a woman loves another woman or a man dates another man – what’s wrong with that? There are so many lonely people in the world, and some of them never find their true love. We don’t much care about their life. Why then do we make a noise when two lonely hearts find each other? No matter the gender. Why do we cultivate this hatred when there is enough of evil in the world without adding this? We poach in other people’s business breaking their lives, and behave like we are empowered to dictate terms. But when somebody intrudes on our feelings we become annoyed. Come on, what’s going on!? Let’s all be free.
Straight, gay or bisexual – who cares? I am a human being who follows her heart.