It’s gonna be a hard journey for us, but Love conquers all.
It happened that I met my love in the times of severe trial for my country. And another thing is the relations between my country and the country my girlfriend is from are strained at the moment, and she cannot come to me because it’s dangerous. But two loving hearts shouldn’t let any political games to prevent them from being happy together. We have taken an important decision. I am moving to her native country soon, which is not actually foreign for me. We will be able to settle our lives together. Of course, it’s a hard step to be taken because I am very close to my family and friends, and because I am emotionally involved in what is happening now in my country… I am distressed for my compatriots. But I realize that it’s time for me to build my own family and life. My girlfriend has got a big heart. She is the warmest person I’ve ever met. She understands my feelings and concerns. She told me that if I miss my family a lot we can go back to my country in the future after the war ends.
You see, I am not making an emphasis on the fact that I fell in love with a girl. I fell in love with a person. Amazing Person…Pure Soul…Warm Heart…Magnetic Green Eyes… And I feel alive! Yes, it’s not an easy thing to live to the full these days because of the problems my country’s facing… But my girlfriend’s support helps me to alleviate this devastating stress… She is the only one who can balance my state at the most uneasy moments.
But if we talk about sexuality I will honestly tell you that I am bisexual. Nothing’s changed about my sexual orientation. I am in love with a woman and I know that from now on many people are gonna consider me as a lesbian but I am not a lesbian. I don’t want anybody to apply for any stamper labels. I am who I am. I am a girl who fell in love with another girl. And the emphasis here I put on LOVE, not a gender. And I am grateful to God for my girlfriend. You know that my country is a post-Soviet country, and the attitude to sexual minorities isn’t quite friendly here, and we won’t be able to marry each other, what makes me sad. At times I am still afraid to take my girlfriend’s hand when we are walking in the street. But the hardest thing is I grew up in a conservative society.. in a small village…we knew nothing about same-sex relationships.. there were neither “boys who liked boys” nor “girls who liked girls” at my school. And now we seem to be living in our modern age. Yes, we do… But our parents and grandparents still follow most of the traditional views of those times… And my family doesn’t know anything about my sexuality.
I cannot keep my love in secret because it’s a kind of disrespect to the person I am in love with. God gives us Love to enjoy it, not to be afraid of it. God gives us Love to make each other happy, not to feel embarrassed about each other. And it’s wrong and unnatural to be afraid of sharing your feelings and thoughts with your nearest and dearest people just because you are bi or gay. I want to feel comfortable and free living the life of who I am. I am proud of my love, I am proud of my girlfriend and I am proud of our relationship. I want her to be a part of my family as well. I want my parents to love her as they love me. I want my friends to be her friends. And it’s an uneasy feeling to realize that for my parents my Wonderful Woman is “just a friend of mine who I am going to stay at after I move to this country”. People from my social circle take me as a straight girl. I’ve always been straight on the outside… They often tell me that it’s time for me to have a husband. It feels like I need some time to find the courage to come out to my family and introduce my girlfriend to them.
Yes, that’s true that She is the first girl I am in a relationship with. I used to date only men in the past. She is the first person I want to live under the same roof because She is my family. Is there any difference between straight relationship and same-sex relationship? Well, of course, it is in the way men differ from women and vice versa. But if we look into a deeper level – the only difference is the power of love you have for a particular person. These true sincere feelings make my world different – they bring peace and light into my life.
I must admit that I am a difficult person…and at times it’s hard for me to express my feelings in the way many other people do… but I treasure my love and I set it above rubies. This is a thrilling state when, on the one hand, you would like to impart your happiness but, on the other hand, you are afraid of sharing your feelings because love is such an intimate thing… it’s only between you and a person you love.
She is my sun. She is my sky. She is my gift from above.
She is far from me now…in another country… I miss her like a flower misses sunshine… I miss her like an eagle misses sky…but I feel her love and warmth despite the distance. And I am waiting for the day we meet again with all my existence.